Kim Warner, the Phi Mu house mom at Ole Miss, stands outside the Phi Mu house. Warner has spent seven years working as a sorority house director, including five years at Ole Miss. Photo courtesy of Kim Warner.
For many college students, a sorority house is more than a place to sleep. It is where they eat, study, socialize and spend much of their college experience. Behind the scenes are women responsible for keeping those houses running while also becoming mentors and trusted figures for the students who live there.
For Kim Warner, the Phi Mu house mom at Ole Miss, the job has become much more than she originally expected.
Warner has spent seven years working as a sorority house director. She began her career as a house mom at the University of Texas, where she spent two years before coming to Ole Miss. She is now in her fifth year as the Phi Mu house mom at Ole Miss.
Warner did not originally plan on making house directing a long-term career. Her professional background is in event planning, and she previously worked at resorts and country clubs.
“I got into all kinds of events and taking members on club trips,” Warner said.
Eventually, working weekends left her feeling burned out. When an opportunity opened at the Zeta Tau Alpha house at the University of Texas, someone encouraged her to apply.
“I was going to do it for just one year,” Warner said.
Her first year was during the COVID-19 pandemic, and she felt she did not get the full experience of being a house director. She decided to return for another year. After two years at Texas, Warner made the move to Ole Miss, where she became the Phi Mu house mom.
Seven years after first taking the job she thought would last only a year, Warner said she has found something she loves.
“I love it. I really do. I feel like it’s my calling,” she said.
Warner described her days as unpredictable. She has dealt with plumbers, air-conditioning workers, electricians, locksmiths and other maintenance issues, sometimes all within a 24-hour period.
“What I like about this job is no two days are alike,” Warner said. “Every day is different, and I love that.”
Managing the physical house is only one part of her responsibilities. Warner also spends much of her time interacting with the women who live there.
“The most important part really is safety,” Warner said. “But I would say for me, it’s mentoring and being an encourager.”
Warner encourages members to take advantage of opportunities, even if they are unsure of the outcome.
“If you don’t try, how do you know? You never know,” she said. “I’m their cheerleader.”
For Phi Mu senior Caroline Dardeau, that support is one of the things that makes Warner such an important part of the house.
“Mama Kim and I are pretty close!” Dardeau said. “She is one of the first people I look for when I walk into the Phi Mu house.”
Dardeau said the two sometimes go on walks or sit and talk. Her relationship with Warner has shaped how she views the role of a house mom.
“Our house mom at Phi Mu is one of the kindest people, and she encompasses the loving hearts we all leave behind when we head off to college,” Dardeau said.
Dardeau described a house mom as someone who helps “bridge the gap between college lifestyle and the loving heart of a mom.”
“She sees you when you feel like no one else is gonna see you,” Dardeau said. “She says hi even when she doesn’t have to.”
For Dardeau, those small moments make Warner an important part of the sorority community.
“She is the true backbone of a sorority,” Dardeau said.
Warner’s relationships with members do not necessarily end when they graduate. She said former members from her time at the University of Texas still contact her, sometimes when they need advice.
“Probably more than anything, boy advice,” Warner said.
She also receives wedding invitations from former members and attends as many as she can.
“I would say it’s still being their friend after they graduate and being there if they need somebody to talk to,” she said.
Warner said she has remained close with many of the chapter presidents she has worked with over the years. When former members return to campus, many make a point of visiting her.
“I love hearing how their life is moving,” Warner said.
Still, Warner said she does not always realize the impact she has on members until the end of the school year.
“More than anything, it’s all the notes and letters,” Warner said. “I really don’t feel like make that much of an impact until I get those.”
Delta Gamma members gather with their house mom, Ms. Jojo. Members say their house mom plays an important role in making the sorority house feel like home. Photo courtesy of a Delta Gamma member.
That same sense of support can be found in other sorority houses on campus.
Bella Wadding, a Delta Gamma junior, described her house mom, Ms. Jojo, as caring and attentive to the women living in the house.
“I think she does a really good job of making sure all in-house girls are doing well and does the best she can to get them what they need if/when they need it,” Wadding said.
Wadding said living in the house allowed her to develop a closer relationship with Ms. Jojo.
“While living in the house I was able to have more conversations with her, allowing for me to get to know her and hear her story and vice versa,” Wadding said.
That relationship gave Wadding a greater appreciation for what her house mom does for the chapter.
“I think it’s allowed me to appreciate all that she does for the sorority house and especially the girls living in house,” she said.
Wadding recalled one situation when she needed to return to campus early during a break while the Delta Gamma house was still closed. She asked Ms. Jojo if she could stay in her room instead of finding somewhere else to sleep.
“She told me that was totally fine!” Wadding said.
Although the trip was eventually canceled, Wadding said the interaction showed her that Ms. Jojo would have been there if she needed her.
“I know if I were to have needed to stay a night there she would have done the same,” Wadding said.
While house moms are responsible for maintenance, safety and the physical needs of a sorority house, Warner said the relationships she forms with members are what make the job meaningful.
“It’s the relationships,” Warner said. “It’s being a mom to so many. I love it.”
For students like Dardeau and Wadding, having a house mom means having another person they can turn to while away from home.
For Warner, the role means being there for members through ordinary days, unexpected problems and major moments in their lives.
The women who serve as sorority house moms may be responsible for the physical spaces students call home, but their influence can extend far beyond the walls of the house.
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